Whatevea

things didnt work out with finley
mostly due to us never seeing each other
oh well
I have this to be my valentine

I have been waiting soooo long to see Indiana Jones 4
like seriously
if you know me well, you know I have been talking about this forever

life is.......strange
Im now a barista at the Starbucks at Barnes and Noble
im kinda in my brothers band
and I am still with Finley
but...something is really unsettling
like something feels wrong
Ive been really restless lately
and i worry too much
and think too much into things
i hate it

So last night, I decided to quit smoking. Partly because everyone around me is quitting, partly because I need to and partly as a late new years resolution. Plus my mom is going back into the hospital, so I told her I would attempt it.
So in honor of that, Im gonna keep a log of my quitting experience. Its mostly because I want to write again.
Day 1
I woke up at like 3, I was going to go into seattle, to see Finley but I got stuck here.
I called her when she got out of school, i told her I was quitting, we then decided that she is gonna keep an eye on me and will kick me in the shins if i get caught smoking
we then made plans for tomorrow and for friday
she had to go finish hw, so i laid around for a while and played bass
and thats where im at now
by the way....this is finley

Hey guys, its been a long time since I actually posted a real entry
I pretty much work all the time now
I work at Barnes and Noble(downtown) in the music section
its sooo much fun
I also work at Qwest Field, but thats only on game days
anywho....Ive actually been keeping to myself lately, Ive been really anti-social
Im gonna go to a show on the 27th, which I hope some of you would like to go to as well
Antarctic Records & Zebraclub Present
ANNUAL CHRISTMAS VARIETY SHOW w/
HOLY GHOST REVIVAL
The Pharmacy
Emeralds
Resident DJ's Colby B. & Glitterpants
$10 / $8 adv. & before 11pm
9pm doors // 18+ / Bar w/ ID
Chop Suey
Im hoping to start school this upcoming spring
but I dont know yet
oh and I finally know what Im gonna go to school for
I want to teach, History
in other news, Im in love with the Arcade Fire right now

I miss you now,
I guess like I should have missed you then.
My body moves,
Like curtains waving in and out of wind,
In and out of windows.
I can’t untangle, (I can’t untangle)
When I feel and what would matter most.
I can’t close an eye, (I can’t close an eye)
Can't close an eyelid.
Now there’s just no point.
In reaching out for me.
In the dark, I’m just no good at giving relief.
In the dark, it won’t be easy to find relief.


And I’m not proud,
That nothing will seem easy about me.
But I promise this,
I won’t go my whole life,
Telling you I don’t need.
But I promise this,
I won’t go my whole life,
Telling you I don’t need.
I'll tell you now,
I guess like I should have told you then.
That thunder moves,
Like damn drawers slamming in my frame,
Slamming in my framework.


I can’t untangle, (I can’t untangle)
what I know and what should matter most.
I can’t close an eye, (I can’t close an eye)
Can't close an eyelid.
Now there’s just no point,
In reaching out for you.
In the dark, I’m just no good at giving relief
In the dark, it wont be easy to find relief


And I’m not proud that nothing will seem easy about me.
But I promise this, I won't go my whole life, telling you I don’t need
But I promise this, I won't go my whole life, telling you I don’t need
But I promise this, I won't go my whole life, telling you I don’t need
But I promise this, I won't go my whole life, telling you I don’t need

this on fri



this next may



and this im just super super excited for (im such a dork, I know)



this im seeing tomorrow night



and heres 2 super dorky pictures of me(courtesy of morgan)





alright im done....

I took the train back, back to where I came from
I took it all alone, it's been so long, I know
Imagine me there my heart asleep with no air
Begging ocean please, help me drown these memories

All I need to hear is that you're not mine
I'm moving east then, somewhere far away from the sight of my hands, the sight of me not moving
You can't just hop a plane and come and visit me again
I claim it's in my head and I regret offering

You take a second, take a year
You took me out and took me in
And told me all of this and then
You take a moment, take a year, you helped me out
I listened in, you taught me all of this and then

So my first day at qwest field was pretty cool, I made 50 dollars in tips.
I have an interview at Barnes and Noble tomorrow
Im super excited
Im playing a holiday show sometime toward the end of december
the line-up is:
The Terrordactyls
team scrabble!!(us!)
and
Birdwatchers United

Im super pumped
you guys should all try to make it

I realized something really amazing just now....but im not quite sure. Its hard to put into words how im feeling but as soon as I figure it out, I will let you all know
also Ive decided Im going to start playing music no matter what
I just have too
Im sick of going to shows and never playing a show
oh....and by the way
there is an show tomorrow at the Fusion Cafe(downtown YMCA) tomorrow night, its going to be a great show with the winks(they are hella good and from montreal)
theres no school mon and most of you dont have to work, so you should all try to make it to the show
support all-ages shows!!!!
seriously guys, its right accross the street from the giant eyesore that we call the seattle public library.
It starts at 7
bring friends, I think it might be 6 bucks, but If you want, I can put you on the list
call me if you are interested in going
(206)734-9167

I start my job at Qwest Field on Monday. Im hellza excited, im a busser during the games and make 25 dollars an hour, then when there is no game, I work in the Warehouse for 13 an hour.
Yeah so last night was really strange, first off, everyone but me and this one girl were drinking. it was actually really funny watching other people get drunk because for once im not drinking but anyway. Everyone else was drunk and passed out,so i watched seed of chucky with the girl, then we got to talking,(this isnt going where you think this is going to go, ha) anyways...... we got to talking and then we made out for a while, then I ended up falling asleep with her on the couch.
But when I woke up, she was gone.
I didnt even get her number or anything. Which brings me to the point of this blog/entry. For the first time, I just had a random fling. Im actually quite proud of myself. oh man, im starting an electronic band with Ben and were gonna call it, MR. Fancypants.
other news, I have a real date on tues or weds, with a girl who is actually my age(actually a year older).
so thats cool...

Im going to see Billy Joel tomorrow, I am so pumped like you wouldnt believe. I have liked him since I was like 6. Plus i might even get to meet him, Im taking David and Its going to be awesome.
oh yeah, recent events
-met a girl
-went on a few dates
-she ended up dating ben(my best friend of all people)
-was mad about that
-got over it
-got a date for fri
-for once, just a date
-shes my age( i know, i know GASP!!)
-got a job
-worked 4 days
-got a wayyyy better job at qwest field
-discovered I like someone i shouldnt
-got a rouch mix of the pharmacy cd
-listened to it a lottt
-they offered me a spot to play bass for one show
-excited for that
-when it happens, you all have to come
-im getting my id fri
-getting paid
-gonna get a tatoo
-that is all

Build a wall of books between us in our bed
Repeat, repeat the words that I know we both said
Relax into the need
We get so comfortable
Remember when I was so strange and likeable
I just want back in your head
I just want back in your head
I'm not unfaithful
But I'll stray
When I get a little scared
When I get a little scared
When I get a little
When I jerk away from holding hands with you
I know these habits hurt important parts of you
Remember when I was sweet and unexplainable
Nothing like this person, unlovable
I just want back in your head
I just want back in your head
I'm not unfaithful
But I'll stray
When I get a little scared
When I get a little scared
When I get a little scared
When I get a little
Run, run, run
Run
Run, run, run
Run
I just want back in your head
I just want back in your head
I'm not unfaithful
But I'll stray

Guys, I have sad news
Its still in the planning stages, but I might, I dont know if i am exactly right now) be going to live with my grandparents in South Carolina this upcoming june.

this is who im gonna be on Haloween/francescas party

this cheered me up soooo much like you wouldnt believe, I had one of those fill it out thingys on my myspace blog and this is from erica
`1.Who are you? You know who I am.

2. Are we friends? Yes, definatly.

3. When and how did we meet? Through myspace. How typical.

4. How have I affected you? Greatly.

5.What do you think of me? I think you are a really good person.

6. What's the fondest memory you have of me? Concidering I dont have many. I love the day we shared in Ballard together.

7. How long do you think we will be friends or enemies? Forever.

8. Do you love me? I love all my friends.

9. Have I ever hurt you? No, you have not.

10. Would you hug me? Already have.

11. Would you kiss me? Already have.

12. Would you make love to me? Hahahah I dont know.

12 1/2. Do you secretly want me? Um duh.

13.Are we close? Were getting there.

14. Emotionally, what stands out? Your good heart. You seem like a very trustworthy person.

15. Do you wish I was cooler? No because then you wouldnt be who you are now.

16 On a scale of 1-10, how nice am I? One billion.

17. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it. I will give you one once I get to know you better.

18. Am I loveable? Oh yes.

19. How long have you known me? I would say about a week.

19 1/2. would u get motivated? Im not sure what this question is all about. Motivated for what?

20. Describe me in one word- Fantastic

21. What was your first impression? I liked you shirt. So I automatically thought you were a cool kid.

22. Do you still think that way about me now? Yes.

23. What do you think my weakness is? I dont know. I will figure it out though. Or you could just tell me?

24. Do you think I'll get married? Someday maybe. Who knows.

25. What about me makes you happy? You.

26. What about me makes you sad? This situation.

27. What reminds you of me? K-swiss. Get rid of those shoes! Im going to buy you sweet shoes Zach.

28 What's something you would change about me? Your shoes!

29. How well do you know me? Not as well as I would like too.

30. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't? No. Im open.

31. Do you think I would kill someone? Hahahaha noo never.

32. Are you going to put this on your blog and see what I say about you? No. You can tell me if you want to though.

So im now going out with erica, we have been hanging out a lot s and we talk all the time. So we both ask each other out at the same time( which was really weird) and im happy and shes happy. Life is great right now, I got to go see the sonics(courtside) and I had loadz of fun.
But now that Im going out with erica, Ben is pissed off because apparantly he used to like her. I dont want to lose him as a friend, but i also dont want to just stop going out with her.
I needz advice

Blink 182

-when people you thought were your friends talk shit behind your back. especially lame pieces of hippie trash who know nothing about anything and try to act smart around people even though they just smoke too much pot. -people who like to change other peoples taste in music by telling you how much they think it sucks.
-people who get really drunk and annoy the hell out of everybody at a party and people are too nice to tell them how annoying they are.
-lame lyndon larouche people
-people who try to fuck up other peoples shows
-lame ass bus drivers who actually look at your transfers
-lame brothers that stop dating the only girlfriend they have had that was nice to you
-honey, i hate honey
-people that tell me im never gonna amount to anything in my life.
-people that tell other people that i want to kick a certain someones ass, even though, im not violent at all
-bands that I really really love that are slowly self destructing.(the pharmacy)
`
Things that are not lame
-my 3 best friends, Kelsey, Ben, and David
-cute seattle girls named erica
- hard alcohol
-cute puppies
-bands that you realize are wayyy better then other bands you like(Yes oh Yes)
-good books
-Harry Potter
-very happy pop bands
- when cute girls like erica suprise me by calling me at 2 in the morning, because they had a feeling i wouldnt have falling asleep yet and wanted to help me sleep
-people who worry about me
-Amanda
-Morgan,Bootz, Caitlin, Noah and certain other friends
-Erica
-a cigarette at 3 in the morning


feel free to add things on to this, and comment!!!